Death from above
In recent news it seems Farmers in Romania are eying their chickens nervously whilst police seal off the area and get ready to incinerate the wildlife with a vengeance. Yep that’s right, it seems avian flu is getting ready to annihilate us all and like every natural disaster that we know is going to happen some time beforehand, governments of the world are under preparing. As usual none shall be taken more by surprise at the sheer killing power of nature than the United Hillbillies of the George Bush Whitehouse who have ordered enough Vaccine for a whopping 1% of their population. Then again when I really think about it Great Britain has only ordered enough vaccine for 20% of the population, which means that unless the bigwigs suddenly realise that I am the rightful heir to the throne after all, I won’t be getting any. In any case it seems that the US government feel that there is a much smaller percentage of Americans than anyone else who are imperative to the further advancement of the human race. I think I agree with them too.
I think the animals want revenge. For god knows how long we have bred them only in order to slaughter them and feast on their succulent tasty flesh. I mean I’d be pretty pissed off if it was me, and probably slightly crazy from being fed my ground up relatives.
In the past few years we’ve had farm animals trying to kill us left right and centre with the cows coming strong using the extremely random and deadly BSE which only had the drawback that it didn’t spread between humans and was quickly stamped out when everyone stopped buying British beef. This made farmers realise that the only way to get people to buy their beef again was to start stocking the type that didn’t kill people, although the odd case will probably still come up for years to come.
After this the sheep and the pigs decided it was their turn and genius struck in the form of foot and mouth disease. Unfortunately for them this didn’t kill humans, or even affect them in any way at all. What it did do was gross the British nation out enough to stop eating lamb and pork for a good while and cause farmers nationwide to go berserk and start cremating the critters en masse. Not that this course of action actually stopped the spread of anything but it certainly let the farmers show the pigs and sheep who wears the trousers in that relationship.
Now we face what is potentially the most lethal assault of all, and who should it come from but the birds. Not just chickens I might add, but any bird you can think of. The avian flu they carry threatens to mutate at any time and kill around 50 million people worldwide and all we can do at this time is put our heads in our laps and scream.
It seems that through all their suffering and genetic enhancements the animals have finally evolved the intelligence necessary to attack mankind and In light of this new and damning evidence I for one think it’s time to go to war. Why not? We seem to declare war or police action on damn near everything else these days, although the idea of the SAS storming cow sheds in West Yorkshire whilst BBC news reports that The RAF blew up a children’s hospital because they mistook it for a strategic chicken coop just doesn’t fit right in my mind.
It does however get me thinking: Why does this stuff always happen to the farm animals and common wildlife? I mean were never under threat from a chronic rhino stomach bug or some mutated tiger influenza. Is it all down to the way we treat the farm animals? Breeding them to feed them to each other and then torture them before we eat them? Or perhaps it’s because nature feels that tigers already have enough defences without being able to spray lethal diseases at as too.
In any case the bird’s final glorious assault is coming. Still, before you burst into the neighbours house to strangle their budgie whilst screaming something about death from above, please think: Would you be doing this if it was a tiger that could just as easily eat you to death as give you Measles?
Anyway i'm off to Bulgaria now, do think about it whilst im on the road.....
I think the animals want revenge. For god knows how long we have bred them only in order to slaughter them and feast on their succulent tasty flesh. I mean I’d be pretty pissed off if it was me, and probably slightly crazy from being fed my ground up relatives.
In the past few years we’ve had farm animals trying to kill us left right and centre with the cows coming strong using the extremely random and deadly BSE which only had the drawback that it didn’t spread between humans and was quickly stamped out when everyone stopped buying British beef. This made farmers realise that the only way to get people to buy their beef again was to start stocking the type that didn’t kill people, although the odd case will probably still come up for years to come.
After this the sheep and the pigs decided it was their turn and genius struck in the form of foot and mouth disease. Unfortunately for them this didn’t kill humans, or even affect them in any way at all. What it did do was gross the British nation out enough to stop eating lamb and pork for a good while and cause farmers nationwide to go berserk and start cremating the critters en masse. Not that this course of action actually stopped the spread of anything but it certainly let the farmers show the pigs and sheep who wears the trousers in that relationship.
Now we face what is potentially the most lethal assault of all, and who should it come from but the birds. Not just chickens I might add, but any bird you can think of. The avian flu they carry threatens to mutate at any time and kill around 50 million people worldwide and all we can do at this time is put our heads in our laps and scream.
It seems that through all their suffering and genetic enhancements the animals have finally evolved the intelligence necessary to attack mankind and In light of this new and damning evidence I for one think it’s time to go to war. Why not? We seem to declare war or police action on damn near everything else these days, although the idea of the SAS storming cow sheds in West Yorkshire whilst BBC news reports that The RAF blew up a children’s hospital because they mistook it for a strategic chicken coop just doesn’t fit right in my mind.
It does however get me thinking: Why does this stuff always happen to the farm animals and common wildlife? I mean were never under threat from a chronic rhino stomach bug or some mutated tiger influenza. Is it all down to the way we treat the farm animals? Breeding them to feed them to each other and then torture them before we eat them? Or perhaps it’s because nature feels that tigers already have enough defences without being able to spray lethal diseases at as too.
In any case the bird’s final glorious assault is coming. Still, before you burst into the neighbours house to strangle their budgie whilst screaming something about death from above, please think: Would you be doing this if it was a tiger that could just as easily eat you to death as give you Measles?
Anyway i'm off to Bulgaria now, do think about it whilst im on the road.....
posted by Walexei at 11:22 pm
3 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hey Good start Alexei! you'll be a full blogger before you know it = ), god knows i am =P
Little tip, add more info on your profile! It looks better and prob attract more people to come read your blog! keep up the good ranting and I’ll pop by regularly to see how your doing = )
haha, right lol sometimes u jus amke me laugh. look forward to da next 1
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